Caught in my Own Trap (作茧自缚) : Chapter 14.2

Finally, Xiao He He’s inner thoughts is revealed. What would that lead to, I wonder……..

Chapter 14.2 : Our Childhood

Zheng Xie does not like the profession of lawyers. He had previously said: this is a career that can confuse the right and the wrong, which is contrary to conscience. This is erode the human nature gradually.

This is a tribute to Ms Yang who is different in his mind.

He He constantly has a very peculiar understanding of Zheng Xie. Zheng Xie is the kind of person whom is un-emotional in front of other people. His emotions are hard to see from his face, but He He would always feel it.

For example: Zheng Xie is very pleasant to a person. He He afterwards would say: “You hate him.” Xheng Xie would look listless and He He would say: “You must have completed a big business talk today. So now you do not have new target, hence there is nothing for you to look forward to.” The fact proves that He He guess is very right.

This time, He He saw that Zheng Xie is very serious with Yang Wei Qi. This is because she also have a very good impression of Ms Yang and thinks that both of them when standing together looks very compatible. He He has always found it difficult to have a good impression of the women around Zheng Xie. This is because they are not matching with Zheng Xie. He He is very concern about this problem as her relationship mostly did not worked out because of her occupational diseases.

He He of course is not jealous that the women appearing beside Zheng Xie will result in her being left out.

In fact, those women around Zheng Xie that comes and go, Zheng Xie never took the initiative to introduce her to his new companion.

But the few places that she likes, are the places that Zheng Xie took her before. So the chance of encounters are more comparable. Today’s attitude indicate the more intimate relationship between Zheng Xie and Yang Wei Qi.

Those time, she treats it as watching a show, she is the audience while the woman is the protagonist and Zheng Xiew is just the props. Watching that is just so funny. Not like now, she can still recall how the woman looks like.

If Su Ren Ran knows about this, she will certainly make a fuss and say: “Xiao he He, you are jealous. You really like Zheng Xie.”

Of course she like Zheng Xie. Her parents were orphans. So in additional to her mother, Aunty Qian as well as Su Ren Ran and a few of her girlfriends and even her female boss, she treats them like her love ones. The male relative, she only had Zheng Xie. From her childhood years, Zheng Xie in her mind acts as her paternal grandfather, maternal grandfather, father, uncle, brother and sometimes even younger brother….. all these roles.

Except her dream lover choice.

He He is not a love tangled person. She just by opportunity to indulge herself the emotional feelings of letting go of something.

Want He He to be emotional is not very easy. The last time she was emotional was a few years ago when her idol Jay started dating.

He He likes Jay is not those young girls like feelings but more like mother love. Often in the forum, she enthusiastically together with others will discuss: “Our family children when will marry ah.” In fact, Jay has countless scandals that are not serious, so He He often laugh it off. Until that day, in front of the audience, he admitted that he had met with his fated love.

He He is so surprised that she shed tears and rushed to the official forum and left a message: “I’m so happy for you. Bless you ah. You guys must be happy ah.” The fact that she had shortness of breath that night, stayed up all night with a indistinct feeling, ultimately boiling it down to: “I’m selfish and emotional. Love is so shallow, deep down want to monopolize but I know that something that does not belong to me, I am aware of the weakness and must try to get over it.”

This evening, at the first greetings, she is also worried about being tangled. Deep inside her, she felt that she is selfish and her emotional state has reoccurred.

He He has never had the idea of having a future with Zheng Xie. Not even a small spark. Before she even had the perception of men and women, the perception of them together had been kicked out of the world.

He He can remember the exact time because it is the year where Zheng Xie is sitting for his college entrance examination. She is also in junior high school and it happen to be summer holidays. But her mother had to spend half of the summer with her students so she had spent half of the time in Zheng Xie’s home.

Zheng Xie was extremely busy that holiday and is always out. But she was not allowed to go out on her own to explore the street. So she always nest in the house while going online until her dark circles are all around her eyes. Later Zheng Xie occasionally takes her out to mix with him.

At that time, He He does not have many female friends. She lives in her lonely circle. Most of the people she knew are Zheng Xie’s buddies whom are many years older than her.

Each time Zheng Xie brings her along, she would be laughed at: “Yo, Ah Xie is coming out with his young pet.”

Those big boys always bring their older matured woman. Obviously only fifteen or sixteen but had chosen to make up and dressed like a twenty year old girl. He He has also seen such girlfriends of Zheng Xie.

The little girl, Xiao He He although is thirteen, still look less than ten years old. It is a joke that is taken for granted. Fortunately, Zheng Xie did not put much care into it, so she does the same.

They’re playing cards and also seems to have been gambling. It is inappropriate for children, so He He dodge in a far corner, alone playing computer games. After playing for a while, fell asleep and dreamed in the noisy place that she has grown up and became an adult. With the hairstyle of Scarlett, makeup like Cleopatra, dressed in “My Fair Lady” famous dress attending a social event but barefooted.

In the dim room, someone cover her with clothes and was immediately ridicule: “Ah Xie is competent enough to be a nanny.”

“What nanny? I think he simple wants to be 光源氏!”

“Who is 光源氏?”

光源氏 – Genji is the protagonist in The Tale of Genji. In the story he is described as a superbly handsome man whom is the 2nd son of an emperor that is delegated to a civilian life for political reasons. Wikipedia Information on 光源氏

“Don’t know the culture should just keep quiet, how embarrassing as an adult.”

“Damn, you do not have culture. Who don’t know that you plan to develop a beautiful girl?”

Zheng Xie scoff: “A group of scum.”

“See, we strike the point. So he is angry.” People started laughing and joking. “Look, Zheng Xie is always better than us in planning ahead. We would never have such thoughts.”

“Scam.” This time, in the voice of Zheng Xie, one cannot hear the mood. “If I have He He in my heart, let me be struck by lightning.”

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