Posted in C-Novel Translation

Caught in my Own Trap (作茧自缚) : Chapter 24.3

And so He He made the decision to leave. Would Zheng Xie be able to stop her from leaving? Will both of them finally cleared their mind and heart and realized that they cannot live without each other? 

As I was translating this chapter, I could imagine some of the scene as it is happening on the TV screen…. Some interesting and dramatic read. Enjoy!

Chapter 24.3: Losing something beautiful

He He really did not leave. She was sitting in a corner of the waiting room looking at her cell phone. There is no luggage in front of her.

There are many people in the crowded and noisy waiting room. But he saw her with one glance. He walked towards her.

When Zheng Xie is only a few meters away from her, she suddenly looked up and then saw him.

He He smiled and said: “I am not a child. I am going to a place that is so close. You do not need to send me.”

Zheng Xie could not laugh. He looked at her quietly: “You want to go back to accompany aunty or to avoid me?”

He He’s smile slowly disappear. She looked down: “Both. I am going back to accompany my mum as her health is really not good lately. And also to escape you. Because you now need to remain calm. I would also like to take a break. I had recently worked a lot of overtime……”

She paused, looked up with courage: “Cen Shi is now also there.”

Zheng Xie gradually cooled down. He said: “Xiao He He, is this considered as suddenly it has become urgent?”

“No.” He He bravely looked into his eyes. “I used to like him. Really like him. You know already, things that I like, I cannot change easily. I am determined to end it before because…..I have a knot in my heart. So when he contacted me again, I turned him down. But now that I have the knot in my heart resolved, I am willing to give him a chance and also give myself a chance.”

Zheng Xie kept quiet as he does not know what to day. So he just look at her flatly. He He saw in his eyes a variety of emotions that she had never seen before. Those entwining emotions make her uneasy.

She continued to smile. She laughed very reluctantly but fortunately Zheng Xie does not intend to appreciate it. Though he seems to be looking at her, she knew that he had no idea what he was looking at.

He He said: “What I said the other day is the truth. We don’t mention about that incident anymore ok. Take it as you never know about it. And I in fact, have long ago forgotten about it. If not….. if not….. because both Shi Lin and Cen Shi came simultaneously, I really have forgotten.”

“Then why you want to leave?”

“….. I missed my mother. I want to take a rest…..” He He continue to adhere to her reasons.

“He He, what are you afraid of?”

He He bowed her down, for a long time before softly said: “As I told you before, you will always be my brother. Protect me for lifetime. I do not want to change our relationship.”

Zheng Xie said: “I will protect you forever, will never change. You stay. Don’t leave.”

“……It is better for us to be separate for a while. If you see me often, it will interfere with your judgement.”

This sentence make Zheng Xie think of what has been avoided over the past two days: “He He, you should not make decision for me…. You should not interfere.”

He He looked at him with a sparkling eyes: “I did not make any decision for you to Uncle Zheng. I am just stating the fact that you want to marry Ms Yang. This is true….”

Zheng Xie cried: “He He!” but could not continue.

He He recite just like she is reading: “Do you want to tell me that you love me for over twenty years already. From the moment I was born you had love me. You have been waiting for me to grow up. All those relationship with those women are just my substitute. This also goes to Ms Yang. Now you realized the fact that the person that you want to marry has always been me….”

Zheng Xie paled but was unable to say anything.

He He said quietly: “哥哥, you have thought me before. It is important to be honest and honor the commitment that you had promised. You had promised to be my brother and protect me my whole life. And you have also promised Ms Yang to marry her. Although you may not have formally proposed, but your attitude towards her, your eyes at the mention of her in front of others, have explained how much you really want to marry her. You can cheat others but you cannot fool yourself. Isn’t that right? So please….. do not over some trivial manner, go against your principles in life.”

哥哥 (pin ying: gē ge) – older brother

The waiting room is very noisy, someone talking on the phone loudly. Children are crying. But the corner where Zheng Xie and He He are, it is quiet. They fell silent. The way they look at each other, is trying to see the result of their argument from each other eye. However, there is no result.

There are so much emotions in Zheng Xie’s eyes that it is hard to tell anything. In the eyes of He He, it is clear, obviously nothing.

The loudspeaker voice sounded: “Are there anymore XXXX train passengers that have not gone aboard? The train is about to start.”

He He suddenly come to understand, that is the train that she is to take. She said: “I am leaving. You take care. Less smoking and less drinking.”

Zheng Xie sent her off to the platform where the train stop. Because it is the departure station, the passengers had boarded, only the crew standing at each car door.

Zheng Xie sent He He to the car. He looked at the slender back of He He. When she was about to step onto the car, he shouted: “He He!” His voice was light, almost only he can hear. He does not know why he call out her name.

But this time, He He turned back her head. She looked at him and then suddenly ran off the train and into his arms gently hugging him. Her head on his chest, she said softly: “哥哥, goodbye.” She did not wait, she turn and ran back to the train. While boarding the train, she slipped a little and the crew helped her by holding her hand. Then she got onto the train and then the train slowly glide out of the station.

Zheng Xie stood there watching the train go farther and farther away. He remembered back in his childhood where he accompanied his mother to watch soap drama on the TV. In the train station, people in the train will leaned out of the window desperately waving while the people outside of the train will run all the way with the train until they could no longer keep up.

But just now, he did not even see where He He seat is mean to be. And He He also did not leaned out of the window to wave at him. He stood on the spot, the foot seem to have been rooted to the ground, unable to make any move forward.

His heart felt empty. As if there had been a burglary at home, and everything is turned upside down. He was anxious but do not know what exactly he had lost.

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I love travelling and exploring the world, see things from the lense of my camera.... this is my space in sharing the many exciting places that I have visited as well as some of the wonderful gastronomy experience. I also loved baking while exploring new recipes. From time to time, I will also be sharing unique dishes that I cook for my family as well as sharing some of my baking experience / recipes.

15 thoughts on “Caught in my Own Trap (作茧自缚) : Chapter 24.3

  1. I think it’s good for both of them to take a breather, the short separation will give them both to think and sort out their emotions without any pressure to each other. I’d been following your blog and thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think HH’s “explanation” might have been exactly what we (readers) were thinking or suspecting. Maybe ZX wasn’t waiting for her to grow up, but she is definitely different than all his “girlfriends”. What kind of different may have changed (due to recent events, or maybe further back) BUT she doesn’t seem to want to let him even have the thought that he may be falling or already fallen for her (sorry for the long sentence). I know you said this would be a long journey 😫

    And did I miss the part where ZX “promised” Ms. Yang that he would marry her? (If he did, it flew way over my head). Ay, anyways, as another commenter said, it might be good for them to get some space and less “noise” so they can think…and be together later 😏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ZX did casually talking about his future with YWC but never mentioned of wanting to marry her. Just He He thought what ZX meant…a misunderstanding I guess that He He wanted or tried to convince herself into believing it. Yes, it is a great idea for them to take a breather from one another for awhile to sort out their feelings for one another.

      But what ZX said was right also that He He should not plan ZX’s life for him because he is capable enough to take care of his own life.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Aww! So sad. It sounds like this will be the last time they see each other. ZX better think carefully if he just want to be an older brother to HH. I’m imagining their next meeting to be ZX outside HH’s door. Thanks😙

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gosh, this scene caused me to cry! Thank you for the translation. I love this novel and wait for it every day hehehe. I guess this is my first time commenting? Anyhow, I have this image of He He in my mind. Thin, smallish, agile, happy. I like her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the quiet support. And yes, this is your first time commenting. This scene indeed is sad isn’t it. Sit back as more is coming in the next few weeks…. Have a great weekend ahead


  5. Thank you. What a bitter sweet chapter. Hopefully the separation will help ZX to think clearly and understand whom he loves since he could not rebuke HH’s stmt at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you everyone for the comments and sharing your thoughts. My phone have been buzzing with indicator that someone commented on this post. Am so glad that I decided to share this translation online now that I see so many are actually enjoying the read. Makes the time spent worthwhile knowing that someone somewhere in the world, is enjoying something that I decided to share online. The wonders of Internet indeed. Today especially when there are regular commentators as well as some quiet readers also commenting…. Amazing! I love reading all your comments…..

    Spoilers ahead! The separation between HH and ZX would actually not be long. However, ZX did ended up ‘nearly’ marrying YWQ. Which also set HH and ZX further apart at some point. I know as well that it would be a roller coaster ride for me emotionally when I am reading while translating the next few chapters. Although going by chapters, we don’t have many chapters left but when it comes to the length of some of chapters, it is very very very long…..

    Have a blessed Sunday everyone!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thanks for translating
    It’s not a simple naive big brother fall for young girl and bully her into marriage kind of story
    But it shows their mental growth and awakening about their changed feelings and behavior
    He he’s very reluctance to even acknowledge the hope of any future with ZX is a sign of her realizing that she cares too much for him to risk loosing even the little formal relationship they currently have
    Wonder when he will finally realize his own feelings and even hers

    Liked by 1 person

  8. She doesn’t usually call him 哥哥 does she? It feels like she is deliberately setting a boundary to their relationship and putting a more formal distance between them. Though I’m inclined to think that this is out of fear that he’ll marry her out of obligation and that she’d rather keep him as a brother than a have him as a reluctant husband.

    Liked by 1 person

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